i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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