Soap is not a condiment
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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