Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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