the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
