this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
