The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
