If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
