Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
