he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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