Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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