Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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