Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
