Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
