I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
