Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
