My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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