Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
