I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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