I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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