My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
