i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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