I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Me too!
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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