Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
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