But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
