Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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