Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Farmville is her only friend.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
