He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
