idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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