she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
