just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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