I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
