My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
