If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
