google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
