the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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