so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
