Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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