Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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