Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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