I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just high enough for therapy.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
