would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
