Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
