I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
All I want is dick and wine.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
