MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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