Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Ladies don't puke and tell
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
