the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he shaved USA in his pubs
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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