pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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