I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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