It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You made out with two different species that night
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
