btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
