turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
